Be the Dom of Yourself
I stared at the contents of the package before me, marveling at the pettiness I had just dumped out on the table.
The house key I had requested be returned was there and I was relieved to see it. Also included, unexpectedly, was a favorite TOOL t-shirt of mine, one I had resigned to her throwing out or burning. The third item, the one that caused me to laugh uncontrollably when it tumbled out of the package, was a cock ring. A simple, cheap cock ring.
The return of the key was a simple act of decorum - when love fails and a relationship falls apart, relinquishing access to one another’s domicile is expected. The return of the t-shirt could be construed as conciliatory in some circumstances, but in this case it was clearly a statement of I want no reminder of you here. As for the return of the cock ring…
That was pure spite.
The ring was originally part of a three-pack, retrieved from her toy box after I had forgotten to grab my own when I rushed out the door to visit her. Of the three, it was the one I wore most often - light blue, her favorite color - and it featured prominently in some of the photos we took together and posted on social media. It could have been easily discarded during her post-breakup purge of my memory. But its inclusion in the package was a clear statement of Fuck you, I’m having the last word.
I wasn’t angry or put off by the inclusion, nor the statement it made. It was a succinct reflection of her personality, both as a brat and as a person. If anything, it sparked my mischievous nature as I contemplated not allowing her this last word and mailing it back with a note: Thank you for returning the key as well as my t-shirt; the latter was surprising but appreciated. By the way, the enclosed cock ring somehow made its way into the package and I wanted to see it returned.
When I let my wife know the key was returned, I mentioned my idea. She immediately offered her retort of the plan, quietly and wisely saying the following:
She is looking for a response from you: be the Dom of yourself and don’t let her control your feelings and actions.
Be the Dom of yourself...
As much as I relished the thought of having the last word on the matter, I knew she was right. I was already moving on from the split and healing from the effects of it. I was still wounded by the loss of that powerful dynamic but was learning to let go each day. The return of the key would be all the closure I would get, malicious cock ring included. Returning it would not offer resolution and would merely result in me playing into her hands.
So, I became the Dom of myself, of my feelings, and of my actions.
I have long held the perspective that nobody makes us do or feel anything; we can naturally react or impulsively respond, but ultimately it is within our own volition how we do so, if at all. I’ll gladly admit I have failed at putting this into practice over the years and that in spite of my best efforts, my temper has sparked me to shoot my mouth off a number of times. But if I have learned nothing else from practicing Dominance, it is that self-control is more important than anything, including the control we are given by others.
Be the Dom of yourself…
Be the Dom of yourself is more than a simple adage, it is a reasonable approach to life. Regardless of which side of the slash we lie on, any of us can apply this principle to our lives and the uncertainty we will continually encounter, the changes in our mental and emotional health, and with the people we interact with for ill or good.
About the Author: TheMeanistPeen is a Gentleman Sadist and Daddy Dom with a heart as big as his arms and a penchant for photography and piercings.
