“How To Be Kinky”

Spoiler alert: There is no right answer for “How to be kinky”. But there are many ways to be kinky.

Being kinky is an entirely subjective topic - how you do kink is only how you do it. Everyone in the lifestyle has their own definition of how they’re kinky, and how they do it.

The question of how to be kinky can include anything from the activities someone chooses to engage in, the kind of kink lifestyle they lead and how often, and whether or not they label themselves a particular role. There are no right or wrong answers - nobody should tell you how you should be doing something to make it kinky, and nobody is entitled to shame you for the kinks and fetishes you have.

Browse our articles on Being Kinky below, or search for something specific!

Featured

Triggers & Trauma in BDSM

Kink and BDSM can be powerful tools to overcome trauma, but trauma can also have a negative impact on the experience of kink and BDSM.

Dealing With Breakups in Kink

Breakups are never easy. They can be even harder when they involve a dynamic.

BDSM Roles, Labels & Honorifics

Learn about the different roles, labels, and honorifics commonly found in BDSM.

The Difference Between Kink & Fetish

While there's a lot of overlap between the two, here's a simple breakdown of what's different about the terms.

What Is BDSM?

A brief introduction to the world of BDSM, and the acronym's meaning.

Human ATMs: What Is FinDom?

Explore the meaning of FinDom and Human ATM power exchange dynamics.

What Is Kink?

A brief exploration of what kink means, where it comes from, and how to explore it.

When You Need Help

In reality, BDSM and kink are not free of predators and dangerous situations. Many trauma survivors find comfort in knowing they aren't alone.

Visiting Your First Kink Dungeon

We offer some do’s and don’t for your first visit to a public kink and BDSM dungeon.

BDSM Is Not Abuse

One of the biggest misconceptions of BDSM is that it’s an excuse to abuse someone else. Nothing could be further from the truth.

Aftercare for Scarification

Scarification requires a considerable amount of aftercare. Learn what you’ll need in this step-by-step guide.

Psychometrics and Kink: The Kink Perspectives Project

What happens when a kinkster specialising in psychometrics takes a stab at a BDSM survey? We interview Books, creator of the Kink Perspectives Project, to find out.