I’m Not Your Daddy
As one who is relatively active in kinky social media, I am perfectly fine with people reaching out to start a conversation. I’m a good listener and am responsive to most anyone seeking advice, perspective, or to get to know me.
But any time I receive a message from a random kinkster that opens with “Hey there, Daddy!”, I can’t help but roll my eyes. The only person who should ever call me Daddy is my s-type, because they have earned the privilege to do so.
Likewise, the only person I will ever call Babygirl or similar is the submissive who calls me Daddy: it is as much a privilege for me to earn as Daddy is for them.
There is work, commitment, and respect from both sides that goes into creating and maintaining a healthy and meaningful dynamic.
To be in a dynamic is to be in a symbiotic relationship with a willingness to address the needs and desires of the other. For the Dominant, it is the need to Dominate and to control, to be obeyed, to protect and look out for the well-being of their submissive, and to reward a submissive’s good deeds while disciplining their missteps.
For the submissive, it is the need to submit and be controlled, to obey commands, to be protected and assured their best interests are considered, and to accept both rewards and discipline. Each gives and each takes. Ideally, there is no room for selfishness in a dynamic: selfishness leads to imbalance, and imbalance can lead to a broken dynamic with one or both parties seeking to have their needs and desires fulfilled elsewhere.
For DDlg, it is much more than instructing an s-type to refer to you as “Daddy”. It means being the Daddy: assigning and tracking tasks, rewarding with praise and the occasional gift, guiding them in their journey through kink, and above all, being there for them when they need their Daddy’s arms around them while assuring them they are still your little one.
Time is certainly a factor in all of this - one shouldn’t just meet and decide to jump into a dynamic. But beyond the time it takes, it requires the building of trust and tremendous communication on the expectations and boundaries of each. It requires knowing who your little one is, what makes them tick, what makes them smile, and keep the promises you give them.
DDlg is a serious dynamic which requires serious consideration. And addressing me with an honorific when we are not in one merely debases the term and makes me wish the addressee hadn’t reached out in the first place.
I know there are too many “Daddies” who use honorifics as a means of manipulation and to assert their dominance where it doesn’t exist. They know those titles can be catnip for s-types who are new to the lifestyle, and they use such titles to their advantage. I’m not one of those guys, and often tell s-types to watch out for such behavior from potential playmates.
So, please, if you do reach out to me to say hello, leave the honorifics aside and talk to me like a fellow human being. You will be treated with the same level of respect that is given. To do otherwise will result in a very curt retort of "I’m not your Daddy."
About the Author: TheMeanistPeen is a Gentleman Sadist and Daddy Dom with a heart as big as his arms and a penchant for photography and piercings.
