Active Submission: I Choose You
There’s a misconception that floats around our world like a feather on the breeze: That s-types - particularly those that identify as slaves - just meekly obey. That their compliance is as easy as the words “Yes, Sir” leaving their lips. In my experience, nothing could be further from the truth.
When I submit, it’s not as though my brain suddenly leaps from my skull and disappears into the ether. Every time something is asked of me, I actively make the choice of whether I’ll obey. Every time I walk through an Owner’s door, I make the decision of whether I’m going to strip. If it’s part of our protocols, it’s an easy decision - almost automatic, but still an active choice. When something is asked of me that isn’t part of our rituals or protocols, it’s even more of an active decision.
There’s the side of my brain that processes the request. The first question being if it’s something I’m capable of, on a literal level. “Can I physically/emotionally do this task?”
The next question being, “Do I want to do this?” Yes, that runs through my head with almost every task. Sometimes there’s an internal conflict, but not always.
I can hear the questions now.
You might be asking, “If you’ve chosen to submit to this person, haven’t you already made the decision to do what they ask of you?” On the most basic level, yes. But that doesn’t turn off my brain. The internal conflict is usually a result of prior conditioning. If the task is sexually based, or involves exhibitionism, I struggle. I was brought up to think that being openly sexual was a bad thing, that it made me a slut, and not in a good way. While sexual/exhibitionist tasks do help banish those feelings, crossing that threshold is, and may always be, a struggle.
I have never refused a task. Even when that struggle is present, I will work through it. On rare occasions I’ll even explain the conflict I’m having and am usually rewarded with an explanation. I use the word ‘rewarded’ because in my preferred dynamic it doesn’t matter why I’m being told to do something, all that matters is that I’m being told. Even when the response is “I asked you to do this because I want you to do it”, that reminder is enough.
Part of the gauge I use to determine how I feel about a relationship is my desire to obey. If the desire seems to be dwindling, it’s time for a talk. I want, more than anything else, to actively please; I need it. The main focus in my relationships is pleasing my partner in all things. So if that focus is fading, it’s vital that I figure out why. It’s a bit like the canary in the coal mine.
I have an issue when D-types brag about how their slave just obeys, and never has negative thoughts or doubts, either about tasks, or about the dominant themselves. They claim to train their s-type to never question orders or think badly of them.
I have never met an s-type who turned their brain off when a collar was placed around their neck. In fact, most that I know are overthinkers, not mindless robots.
I prefer my submission to be active, and would never want a D-type who wanted me any differently. Every time I’m ordered to do something and I obey, I am deciding,
“Yes, I choose you.”
About the Author: sensuallysublime is an s-type who lives for the unexpected moments and loves protocol, rituals, and serving as a Sadist’s target.
