Your Kink. Your Way.
I believe it was Einstein who said: "If you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing it is stupid."
Too often we judge the worth of others in the lifestyle by how proficient they are at the things we like to do, the skills we have or wish to acquire, or what we do in our dynamic, rather than what those individuals want or wish to accomplish. We try to make our goals everyone's goals, when they might not have anything to do with their kinks or the wants and needs of those within their dynamic.
I don't do rope. It's just not my kink. If you judge me by my ability to suspend someone 10 feet in the air by their pinky toes, you will definitely come away thinking I am a complete and utter moron.
I love whips. But, I can't do any fancy tricks (yet). I can't turn off a light switch with one crack from a singletail or twist the cap off a bottle of Coke, or cut a beer can in half, or florentine with a whip in each hand. I can hit an ass with pretty good accuracy, and that's all that's required for what gets my dick hard, and my Cupcake's pussy wet.
But, if you were to judge my ability to Top with a whip by how well I can twirl a whip over my head, catch it behind my back, and snap a dragonfly in half in mid-flight with a reverse cattleman's crack, you'd think I should never ever touch anyone with a whip.
My style of dominance does not include long lists of tasks, rituals, and protocols, though some people believe I have a lot of protocols within my dynamic. My protocols are natural extensions of my everyday needs, manners, and kinks. They are not terribly complex. They can be boiled down to:
Don't open the door for yourself when I am around.
Don't eat until I begin eating.
Call me Daddy.
Show respect.
Honor me and our dynamic at all times.
Be sweet and kind.
Don't be an asshole.
If your idea of a "real" or "true" Dom or Master is one who makes long lists telling exactly what their submissive or slave is supposed to do from the minute their eyes open until they close again for 8 to 12 hours, you will find me barely deserving of a capital letter in my name or honorific.
We like to say Your Kink Is Not My Kink But Your Kink's Okay, but far too often what we really mean is that we will try not to judge someone for a kink we don't do or understand, but that everyone should be into all the "normal" kink activities (e.g. impact-play, rope-play, wax-play, fire-play, knife-play, blood-play, electrical-play, and rough-body play), and be in some sort of power or authority exchange dynamic. And, even more, we should all be doing them the same way and for the same reasons. But, that's just absurd.
We are individuals. All that matters is that our kinks, fetishes, and skills match up with our partner's wants and needs. It’s not a requirement that our kinks are compatible with the entire community so that you could just randomly mix and match Tops and bottoms, Doms and subs, Masters and slaves like Lego pieces.
If it's consensual, not likely to cause death or disability, and it's between two or more adults, do whatever gets you off, however it gets you off. Don't worry about doing it the way everyone else is doing it.
Do you. I'll do me. Your kink your way. My kink my way.
About the Author: Master WrathDaddy is a Daddy, Master, Leatherman, kink educator, author, poet, Heartland Person of Leather 2019-2021, and a badass motherfucker who enjoys doing badass shit with other badass motherfuckers.
