What Is Anal Play?

Anal play describes any kinky activities involving the anus. Examples include rimming, anal training or stretching, and anal torture.

Be it anal sex or other forms of anal play, butts are one of the more popular fetishes, both in the kink world and in the mainstream.

Cheeks, haunches, ass, booty, bum, keister, derriere, posterior… for as many synonyms as there are for that fleshy seat you’ve got, there are means of getting your kicks. Whichever kinky activity you’re interested in exploring, it’s important to understand the basics of human anatomy, along with potential risks inherent to such exploration.

If you’re interested in exploring things beyond a light spanking - or even a finger or two - we’ve compiled some safety considerations, as well as tips on how to get the most from your experience.

Model wears underwear that says "Bad Ass"

How Easy Is Anal Sex?

While still considered a kinky activity by most, anal sex is one of the more common types of anal play. Anal sex can involve a penis, fingers, dildos, or butt plugs to name a few. 

If you’re new to anal and wanting to explore, consider the following:

Lubricant is key to enjoyable anal sex

Unless you want it to hurt, lubricant is essential. Figuring out which lube to use can sometimes be overwhelming. If you’re unsure as to whether or not you’ll have an allergic reaction, start with something water-based. Don’t be afraid to use a lot of lube, especially the first few times you engage in the activity.

Yes, you can tear the inside of your anus.

This may seem like obvious information, but surprisingly few beginners fully comprehend this truth until something is trying to make its way in. The inside of the anus should be treated with as much care as the inside of the vagina (or the inside of a penis for that matter). The tissue is incredibly sensitive and easy to tear. This goes back to point one about lubricant; go slowly and use considerable amounts of lube to ensure a smooth entry.

The anus has muscles that must be relaxed to allow penetration.

Two parts of the sphincter are key to ensuring that you have a good time. The outer sphincter is a muscle that, with practice, can be willed to relax. The second sphincter muscle is about an inch and a half inside the anus, and you’ll simply have to wait for it to relax. If you’re new to anal, this can take upwards of 20 minutes, so patience is key.

STIs and STDs can be transmitted via anal play

STIs that can be passed on through anal sex include the ones below. Be aware that penetration by fingers or toys can also potentially transmit one of the illnesses if attention is not paid to cleanliness.

  • chlamydia

  • genital herpes

  • genital warts

  • gonorrhoea

  • hepatitis B

  • HIV

  • syphilis

Hepatitis A and E. coli are the most common bacteria inside the anus and can be spread by unclean anal sex practices. 

Kinksters with a penis should change condoms if they’re going from anus to vaginal or oral. If going ‘bareback’, wash the penis thoroughly after anal sex before moving to vaginal or oral. The same goes for fingers and toys - anything that is used in the anus should be sanitized before being used elsewhere.

Anal Play FAQs:

  • Anal training involves insertion of fingers, dildo, or some other object into the anus for the purposes of helping the involuntary sphincter muscle learn to relax based on the voluntary relaxation of the outer sphincter. 

    One common form of anal training involves gradually larger butt plugs, typically sold in a set of three.

    Training is strongly encouraged, as it aides in helping you to understand more about your body, as well as growing accustomed to the sensation of anal penetration.

  • Also known as anilingus, rimming is licking or inserting the tongue into an anus. 

    It’s important to be aware of the potential risks to health; most importantly STIs/STDs that can be transmitted orally. 

  • If done correctly, anal sex should never be painful, but it can be uncomfortable if you’re new to the sensation. 

    Go slowly and use a lot of lubricant, and you shouldn’t have any severe, or even moderate, pain. After the first few times, your body will learn to relax more quickly and anal sex will not hurt at all.

  • Unless you want it to really hurt, lubricant is essential. Don’t be afraid to use a lot of lube, especially the first few times you engage in the activity.

  • Ideally, no. Bleeding may simply be a result of not lubricating enough or trying the act before your sphincter has relaxed completely. 

    While a little bit of blood isn’t too much of a concern, you should seek medical attention if a considerable amount of blood is present, as it’s possible that a significant tear has occurred that will need to be treated. 

    If bleeding seems to happen every time you have anal sex, and you are lubricating/taking time to relax, you should also see a doctor as this can be a sign of an underlying medical condition or infection.

  • It is possible that you can tear the inside of your butthole.

    The inside of the anus should be treated with as much care as the inside of the reproductive organs. The tissue is easy to tear. Go slowly and use lube to ensure smooth entry.

  • No. Anal sex only stretches your canal temporarily and soon after the activity, all muscles will return to normal.

    You may feel an urge to defecate shortly after anal sex is completed, but having anal sex will not impact your ability to do so.

    It’s a popular myth that regular enjoyment of anal sex can result in loosening or stretching the muscles in your anal canal, thereby making it difficult to control your bowel movements. 

    This assumes that you do not have an underlying GI condition— constipation, irritable bowel syndrome, and incontinence are some of the more common ones. Anal sex should never be used as a means of treating a GI condition, and it can sometimes exacerbate the issue.

    If you have questions regarding whether or not anal sex will have an impact on your physical health,  we encourage you to consult your physician before engaging in this activity.

  • Yes, anal orgasms are a thing! 

    For those with a prostate, anal sex can touch the ‘p-spot’, located just inside the anus by about two inches.

    If you have a vagina, anal penetration will indirectly stimulate the ‘a-spot’, or anterior fornix located pretty far into the vagina at around 5-6 inches.

    Both of these erotic locations will quickly take you over the edge if they’re stimulated.  

Anal sex can be a very pleasurable experience, but discussing risks and understanding your body should always be the first step.

If you’re curious about anal sex, be honest and open with your partner. Don’t be afraid to ask questions and do your research. Recognize that not every person who is kinky is into anal. Be patient and go slowly straight out of the gate. 

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