Public Playspaces
Kink playspaces and BDSM clubs are spread far and wide across the globe. But how do these spaces come to be?
We reached out to owners and managers of public kink and BDSM clubs from a variety of locations and backgrounds to find out.
About the Participants
Mizz Christie - owner of Fetish Fixxx, a local event and planning company that hosts fetish parties in Oakville, Ontario.
Master Cecil - educator, producer, and owner of The Woodshed, a public playspace in Orlando, Florida.
gem - manager of Rascal’s Club in Vancouver, British Columbia.
How do kink and BDSM club owners get started?
The first burning question is, how did these owners get into the business, and why are they doing it today.
“When I entered the public scene, parties were all impact focused, and had a Dominant male feel to them,” Mizz Christie explains. “I wanted to find a space that appreciated Dominant women in the community.” In her search, Christie found a small playspace being run by a Domme. They soon became friends and eventually Christie was handed the reins to run the parties. In 2015, Fetish Fixxx was born.
Master Cecil was driven by a desire to create safe play space for people in the local community. He describes the founding of The Workshed as the result of a “perfect storm” of events. Around the same time that he was downsized from his job at Ford Motor Company, he came across a pro dom space that was struggling financially. He was already in the business of making dungeon furniture, and saw the opportunity instantly. The Woodshed had its soft launch in 2007.
As to why he’s doing it?
“It’s very simple and yet complicated. I do it because I love the kink community [...] To me, it stood to reason that if there’s a central place for everyone to meet, people with bad intentions would not show up as they don’t want to operate in the light where their patterns of abuse can be seen. With the help of a team of exceedingly excellent individuals, we’re able to educate people in safe practices and to give people a safe place to meet as well as to play.”
In British Columbia, gem found herself looking for ways to fill her time after sustaining a snowboarding injury. Having been a producer of large trade shows averaging around 30k attendees, a friend told her about a place in town called Rascal’s, owned by a gentleman of the same name who was looking to sell. She jumped at the opportunity. “Rascal’s was something I was able to do with my physical limitations. The club had a fantastic reputation, amazing people, and seemed like it would be a lot of fun. I’ve met so many wonderful and kind people, I wouldn’t trade the experience for anything.”
“Leading does not mean total control. You need to listen, put your ego aside and own it. When you commit to doing something, you must be committed to doing a job well.”
While the kinky community tries to protect itself, consent violators still exist.
Do owners of kink and BDSM public play spaces have a responsibility to be community leaders? What might that leadership look like?
Master Cecil tells us, “There's a very long story that goes into the fact that I didn't actually sign up to be a community leader, but a community helper. It was a life-changing moment for me when I realized that I was in fact a leader. Quite honestly, it scared the hell out of me.” Despite an understandable intimidation factor, Master Cecil fell into the leadership role quite easily, even seeking other leadership opportunities over the years, including his involvement with the Leather Leadership Conference and the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom.
Believing that how owners lead in their communities tends to be a direct reflection of how they choose to lead in their actual establishment, he refers to his father raising him to believe leadership is about caring for others, and how he was able to see that in his father’s interactions with his own employees. It was this demonstrated care that set the foundation for Cecil’s views on leadership.
“I think playspace owners - through the process of keeping their own space as safe as possible - do help keep the community.”
Mizz Christie feels similarly. “I absolutely feel a sense of responsibility here,” she said, “I have well-trained staff that take their role very seriously. On top of their shifts, I also personally maintain a level of supervision not only in our dungeon space, but the whole party.”
Mizz Christie has had requests that a person be banned from play, but her rule is people are banned only if they misbehave in her play space. However, a very strict structure has served her and the kinksters under her care well. “You have a time scheduled, and your play is laid out to the dungeon monitor prior to play,” she explains, “All bottoms have a drop item. If that item is dropped, play stops until the DM interviews the bottom to determine if play can resume. That decision is completely at the DM’s discretion. Any play outside the dungeon would result in immediate removal and banning.”
The stance of Kynk 101 is to encourage owners of public play spaces to embrace their leadership role by doing their utmost to ensure the safety of all kinksters inside their establishment. Be it through stricter rules, banning, or some other mechanisms, owners have a very real responsibility for their patrons.
How to Get the Most out of Visiting a Kink or BDSM Dungeon
According to our panel, the most common misunderstandings arise from newcomers who have preconceived notions of what they’ll encounter.
“Often people are surprised that those who attend kink events are so normal,” gem notes, before adding the appropriate caveat, “whatever that is.”
Meanwhile, The Woodshed reports that newcomers often expect the place to be “one big orgy,” and Master Cecil jokes that “sometimes they are happy that it isn’t true...and sometimes they are let down.” He also adds that the most common question The Woodshed receives by phone is whether or not it’s a strip club (answer: it isn’t).
Mizz Christie emphasizes an important point that newcomers should keep in mind: Dungeon spaces aren’t just about impact play. In terms of how Mizz Christie approaches Fetish Fixxx, she believes in cultivating a space where kinksters feel free to express whatever kinks they have. She explains, “All aspects of impact are beautiful and celebrated, but so is every other aspect of kink. Fetsters must be accepting, and nonjudgmental of all kink, from littles, to foot worship, or any other fetish within Our community.”
Not surprisingly, these dungeon owners all agreed that the most common inquiries are related to dating and sex: how to find a partner or playmate, and whether or not single people are permitted. Outside of the pandemic, Mizz Christie’s advice is to “Get out there and present yourself in real life at munches and parties. I believe that these connections take place face to face.” Gem encourages singles to come by, stating that Rascal’s “is not really a place for those looking to hook up. Newcomers are more than welcomed, single or attached. We have a designated “welcoming table” where people can socialize with some of our regulars, ask questions and get to know others at the party.”
If you’re looking for tips on how to get the most out of your experience at a public kink or BDSM dungeon, these owners offered quite a few.
Chat with people at kink events
“Approach people when it seems appropriate and introduce yourself. Watch people and see who seems like "your people". Compliment complete scenes, and ask the players how they met.” - Mizz Christie
Study what consent is in the kink community
“It’s more detailed than you think and it will absolutely help you find your voice once you know it’s expected and normal.” - Master Cecil
Be yourself when you attend a kink event
“The dungeon is your space to get your kink on, so enjoy it to its fullest with abandon. How others see your kink doesn’t matter.” - Mizz Christie
Attend educational kink seminars if the space offers them
“We have a free BDSM Sampler hour. The BDSM Sampler provides an opportunity for people to experience a real BDSM scene in a safe environment. All samples are conducted by highly vetted, experienced community members.” - gem
Watch out for frenzy when you start out in kink & BDSM
“You have the rest of your life to learn ALL the things!” - Master Cecil
Know your worth - you are your own person
“You don’t owe ANYONE access to your body for anything!” - Master Cecil
What can newcomers expect at a BDSM and kink public dungeon?
These owners are doing their best to ensure that a newcomer’s experience of their dungeons is a positive one. They emphasize safety and a space free of judgement. Mizz Christie says newcomers at Fetish Fixxx will feel like they belong, even if their kinks are different from others. She invites kinksters to contact her directly on FetLife for a personal tour and introductions, “I personally walk them around the bar showing them where everything is and introducing them to people I think will be a good fit for them. I have two other hostesses that do this when I'm already busy.” Likewise, Rascal’s promises to be “a friendly, safe, welcoming environment with a large dungeon and social viewing area with great music,” and Master Cecil even provided us with a video tour of The Woodshed.
Overall, it’s clear to us that these owners work hard to ensure any and all kinksters feel welcome and safe within their respective establishments. Master Cecil ends the interview with a statement that conveys this in touching detail:
We are a place for people to be “home.” The ability to not need to “mask” is so very freeing that sometimes we will see people crying tears of joy because they never thought they would find a place where they would be accepted for who they are. Once you see that, you can’t not do this. It becomes a thing that you protect with all you have in you because I was once that person and thought that I was too broken to be loved.
Whatever point you’re at on your journey, and whether or not you ever decide to explore a public play space or kink dungeon, we think these are valuable insights into a part of the kinky realm that is not explored often enough.
We’d like to express our sincere gratitude to Mizz Christie, Master Cecil, and gem for taking their time to respond to our inquiries with such thoughtful deliberation.
We’d like to express our sincere gratitude to Mizz Christie, Master Cecil, and gem for taking their time to respond to our inquiries with such thoughtful deliberation.
