Vetting Public Kink Venues
Vetting public spaces is similar to vetting potential play partners. Below are some things to think over if you’re attending a venue as a guest, or if you’re an event organizer scoping out the place.
Considerations for Attendees and Organizers
Reputation Matters
If a dungeon or venue has been around a while, it’s likely that your fellow kinksters will have some opinions. Doing your research is an important first step. Asking around - discreetly or not - can lend you some valuable insights into the vibe of the place you’re considering.
Social media platforms and local forums can be helpful in this respect. Additionally, check out the reviews of the venue on Google, along with doing a search for the venue on any online kinky forums that you frequent, to see what people like (or don’t like) about the establishment. If you’re talking with past organizers or attendees of that venue, you could ask them how it went, if there were any issues, and how consent violations (whether potential or actual) were handled.
Make a Site Visit
Asking for a tour of the space is also totally expected and a common part of vetting any location. Things to consider include:
Layout and Accessibility: Make sure there are separate areas for play, socialising, and aftercare. Event organizers should consider how accessible the space is for wheelchairs, as well as whether the bathrooms are accessible and gender inclusive. Additionally, any emergency exits should also be clearly marked, with fire extinguishers visible.
Privacy: Are there different spaces for different activities? What’s the dress code to get into the place, versus when you’re there? Ensure that you and other attendees feel safe going about your kinky ways without the prying eyes of outsiders, or of accident exposure to the (vanilla) public. Similarly, organizers should let folks know if attendees can show up in full-on fetish attire. This may be important for people who prefer to keep things a bit more discreet.
Cleanliness: This shouldn’t have to be said, but look at the floors, the bathrooms, and any fetish gear the place has. If it’s dirty (or smelly) it’s probably not the type of place you want to play at or host an event. Be sure to ask what their policies are around sex, as well as watersports and blood play.
Additional Considerations for Event Organizers
Meet with Management
A prominent social media presence doesn't mean the owners understand the significance of risk awareness or inclusive environments for kinksters. It’s totally okay to set up a meeting with whoever runs the place. Some questions you could ask include:
What kinds of events have you hosted before?
How do you handle consent-related incidents?
What’s your policy on bodily fluids and BYO toys?
Is your venue accessible and LGBTIQ friendly?
Do you have dungeon monitors/do you permit outside monitors?
May I have a copy of your liability waiver?
If their answers sound confused, dismissive, or even over-the-top excited about your event, it’s probably best to find another venue.
Contracts, Costs, and Dealbreakers
If you’ve found the place where you want to host, be sure to get everything in writing when it comes to the contract with the establishment. Things that should be included are the rental fee, clarity around any hidden costs, the cancellation policy, anticipated headcount, permitted outside items, and cleanup responsibilities. Never assume that a verbal agreement will suffice.
When it comes to dealbreakers, ask yourself: is this place aligned with your own personal values? This goes beyond logistics. Does the venue’s ethos match your community’s needs?
If your event is intended to be trans-inclusive, focused on people of colour, and/or focused on accessibility, your venue should reflect that. If the owner hosts problematic events or lacks a policy around addressing things that are important to you, your party is better off somewhere else.
At the end of the day, vetting a venue is about more than square footage and aesthetics. You’re looking for a space that respects you and your fellow kinksters, understands the kink scene, and supports your event’s purpose.
