Learning The Ropes: Bondage Basics
What is bondage?
The first word in the BDSM acronym, bondage is the consensual act of restraining someone through use of rope or similar means, such as cable ties, chains, cuffs, etc.
A kinkster who enjoys tying up their partner(s) is called a ‘rope Top’ or ‘Rigger’. The person being tied is called a ‘rope bottom’ or ‘rope bunny’. Bondage can be done in various ways ranging from practical or decorative to restrictive or predicament. Likewise, a person can be tied on the ground or partially or fully suspended.
What Do I Need For Bondage?
There are a variety of rope materials to choose from and much like everything else in kink and BDSM, the answer depends on a number of variables.
Natural Fibre vs Synthetic Bondage Ropes
Whilst natural fibre bondage ropes - such as hemp, linen, coconut, sisal, and jute - provide a great grip and easier handling than their synthetic counterparts, these ropes are not very durable and can be difficult to clean.
Synthetic bondage ropes - such as nylon, MFP, polypropylene, and polyester - are more durable and easier to keep clean, but they can be slippery or stiff and don’t provide as much natural friction.
Avoid cotton ropes in bondage, as the knots can become too tight and difficult to loosen.
How Many Ropes Do I Need for Bondage?
As a beginner, it’s recommended you have one main rope and at least one small rope. Over time and with experience, an advanced rope Top (aka Rigger) will have anything upward of eight main ropes and around five smaller ropes.
How Long Are Bondage Ropes?
A main rope is usually seven or eight metres (25-30 feet) long. A smaller rope is usually around half that length, commonly three to four metres (10-15 feet) in length.
Various diameters are available in different types of rope, and it will generally be a factor of what type of bondage you’re exploring.
How Do I Know Which Bondage Ropes I Need?
It depends on what style of bondage you’re interested in. The ‘bite’ of the fibres dictates how tightly the knots will hold, so you’re best doing your research into what style you’d prefer to practice before you spend money on new bondage ropes.
Japanese bondage is best done with jute or hemp.
Western bondage is best done with hemp or nylon.
Decorative bondage is best done with MFP or nylon.
Bear in mind that the length of ropes you’ll need will also vary depending on the style of bondage you’re practicing. You’ll need more for decorative knots and intricate patterns, and the diameters will also vary accordingly.
Safety Considerations for Bondage
Bondage is edge play. It can be easy to forget that the reason for tying someone up has historically been that you intended to sell, torture, or kill that person.
Aside from consent, negotiations, and safewords, it is essential that both sides practice patience.
It takes time to learn how to tie safely, and it takes time to learn how your body feels when it’s tied up. If you’re interested in exploring suspension, take time to explore various positions and ties on the ground first, then move into partial suspension if or when you feel ready.
Due to the amount of knowledge needed to suspend someone safely, inexperienced Rope Tops and bottoms alike should never do a full suspension rope scene without at least one veteran Rope Top on hand to be a mentor or guide.
Here are some additional safety tips for both sides of the slash when exploring bondage:
Have safety or EMT scissors nearby. You never know when you might need to get someone out of rope fast. Safety or EMT scissors are relatively cheap and a great tool to have on hand for a safer experience.
Learn about the human body. Both Tops and bottoms should become familiar with the various nerve centres in the body.
Speak up about your injuries. Bottoms should let their Rope Top know if they have any past injuries or are on any medications. Likewise, if a Top needs additional information or is unclear on the location or severity of these injuries, they should ask questions.
Stay alert and pay attention to your body. Bottoms should be paying close attention to tingling sensations or a drop in body temperature - these are symptoms of circulatory issues. Both bottoms and Tops should keep an eye out for skin discolorations, and play should be stopped immediately if any of these symptoms occur.
Never leave someone who is tied up unattended. This cannot be overstated. If you are tying up someone to the point that they are immobilized, you are placing them in a very vulnerable position.
Always have a safety plan. Give a like-minded friend a heads up that you will be engaging in bondage. Let them know a specific time that you intend to call or text at the end of the scene. If you don’t follow up, they’ll know something is wrong. Provide this person with the address of where you’ll be. This may seem overly cautious, but the last thing you want is to be tied up and unable to free yourself in the event of a serious emergency.
What are some good beginner options for learning how to tie bondage?
Outside of your local kink community’s classes or events for beginners to bondage, there are a plethora of resources online.
Here are some of our favourites:
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