Monogamish & Polycapable
The Primary Colours of Relationships
I've danced between being a staunch believer in mono, and thinking of practicing poly. I consider myself ‘polycapable’, but not ‘poly-preferable’. But I’ve been in a poly lifestyle for years now. Does that make me monogamish?
Are we really poly all our lives, using different people's paints to create our picture, and it's only when we let society’s view of monogamy interfere that we question the ethics of giving ourselves to someone else?
If people had the balls to say "I can't be this for you, but I can be that", would anyone ever embark on physical and/or emotional affairs? I agree with poly done that way: to fulfill the unfulfilled aspects of ourselves, and our partners.
You could be the sun or the moon. Or, you could be the eclipse that does both.
Mono to me is night and day, poly is the sunrise and sunset. But I want the solar eclipse. I'm concentrated intensity, and I want that in my partner, too. I want us both to be enough.
Am I aiming too high, wanting one person to be everything? Maybe. Depends on what you're looking for.
My main issue with poly is that I don’t want to share the greatness in myself or that of my partner, and thus risk it being diluted.
But is it really sharing? Or is it mixing primary colours on an artist's palette?
You can't make purple without blue and red. So, does that mean you can have more than one primary? Are secondary partners then the black and white to make shades? Is that what the concept of an alpha is? They're dark blue to the vivid red of a beta; you need less alpha otherwise it overpowers the lighter colours.
If I were poly, would I even want the responsibility of being a primary? Is my colour that vivid?
Maybe I'm a muted watercolour in a world of rich oils. But I'm an oil painting to someone.
Perhaps I'm sunflowers, or the Parisian sky, or a lily pond.
Perhaps I'm bold strokes and they're still working fine lines.
Or even a blank canvas waiting for my colours to show.
Maybe I'm an eclipse painted in monochrome, with a technicolor background. Maybe I'm the sun. Maybe the moon.
I just haven't picked up the brush yet.
About the Author: DiavalDiablo is a mental auralist with a love of sharp things, including wit, and is considered an "antisocial butterfly".
