What is Discipline?
Discipline is the act of ensuring an action is done or a task completed, typically through the enactment of punishment within a D/s power dynamic.
It’s paired with bondage in the overlapping trio that makes the BDSM acronym (Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, Sadism and Masochism).
Despite being part of the BDSM lexicon, discipline is the category that seems the least talked about when it comes to kinky activities.
Uses For Discipline in BDSM
One common way discipline is practiced in BDSM is through a Dominant’s training of their submissive.
Part of a submissive’s role in the vast majority of scenes and kink relationships is to please their Dominant. Doing so requires the submissive and Dominant to get to know one another, and to develop the best means for following through on protocols and rules. As such, a Dominant’s discipline or punishment of a submissive for an infraction is seen as a means of training.
Training a submissive can involve things such as withholding positive reinforcement until a submissive has completed a given task, or using negative reinforcement (punishment) if an infraction occurs.
Either way, the overarching concept is that discipline is a means of strengthening the bond between the Dominant and submissive.
It’s important to note that training is a negotiated activity that is not a requirement for you to be in a power dynamic.
We encourage you to only explore submissive training if it’s something that you want just as much as your partner does. Exercise caution with any individual who claims that you have to be trained in order to be a “real” or “true” submissive.
Is Discipline in BDSM a Punishment?
In many cases within the kink world, if you’re talking about discipline, you’re talking about inflicting consensual pain on someone else. Discipline is commonly doled out as a means of punishment for an infraction, but whilst discipline is commonly a component of a power dynamic, it can also be an independent kink in and of itself, much like bondage. In these cases, discipline is acted upon by a Disciplinarian.
What’s the difference between punishment and funishment?
Punishments typically do not involve anything that would be pleasurable for a submissive.
Funishments, on the other hand, are a feigned punishment that both the Dom and the sub enjoy.
Depending on the dynamic, a Dominant and submissive may have punishments that are taken quite seriously. Some Dominants prefer to have an implement that is exclusively used for punishments, perhaps an impact toy that the submissive tolerates but doesn’t enjoy.
In other cases, a submissive and Dominant have negotiated a dynamic in which the submissive can tease their Dominant with the end result being a spanking. Provided the sub and Dom in this scenario enjoy spankings, the funishment can be a playful way of beginning a scene.
It’s a common assumption that all power exchange-based relationships ‘should’ or ‘must’ involve punishment or discipline. The truth is, as with most things in kink, a bit more grey.
Whether a Disciplinarian, Service Top, or Dominant (or all three!), the makeup of your relationship is 100% up to you and your partner.
What is a Disciplinarian?
A Disciplinarian is most commonly a D-type preferring to use discipline (such as spankings, canings, etc) as a means of punishment or behaviour correction.
Disciplinarians can also be kinksters who work to instill self-discipline within their charge, such as nutrition, exercise, self-care.
For example, if you want to lose weight, you could ask a Disciplinarian to hold you accountable if you miss an exercise or decide to eat that second piece of cake (we won’t judge, but your Disciplinarian won't be very happy with that decision). Disciplinarians can also take on a more authoritarian role, such as that of a teacher or parental figure.
Disciplinarians are commonly a type of Service Top, one who is adept at a particular skill set, such as caning or spanking, and is able to provide a release for bottoms seeking some form of ‘absolution’.
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