Hotwifing, Cuckolds, Stags, Bulls & Vixens
Ethical non-monogamy and polyamory are commonplace within the kink world, and some specific activities and roles have grown into their own subcultures as a result of this.
What Is A Cuckold?
In the late Middle Ages, ‘cuckold’ was used as a derogatory term for a man whose wife was cheating on him, often due to his abusive or negligent behaviour.
Within a kink and fetish context, cuckold has become a broad term for a submissive male who is complicit in his Dominant wife’s infidelity. The act of cuckoldry in kink is not exclusive to men, however. A female cuckold is referred to as a cuckquean.
Both of these roles experience mental anguish and psychological distress as a result of their partner’s infidelity. For this reason, cuckoldry is widely regarded as an emotionally masochistic activity. Whilst direct humiliation and degradation may play a part in these dynamics, the proviso is that it is consensual, and is not a form of deception.
It may be the case that a cuckold or cuckquean doesn’t get to indulge in sexual activity with their partner at all. Generally, a cuckold will find enjoyment in the thought of his wife - often referred to as a cuckoldress - indulging in sexual acts with another partner. Conversely, a cuckquean tends to find pleasure in focusing on the enjoyment of another woman engaging in sexual activity with their partner. Neither of these terms refer only to heterosexual relationships.
What are Bulls and Cuckcakes?
The male partner of a Dominant wife is known as a bull, and the female partner of a Dominant male is known as a cuckcake (a female Bull).
Just as the cuckold and cuckquean have their own labels, so too do the third parties involved. Often, bulls and cuckcakes will be more physically attractive, or have greater experience than the cuck, in order to further reinforce the humiliation of the submissive partner. They may or may not be dominant themselves.
Some bulls and cuckcakes are invited to verbally degrade and humiliate the cuck, bragging about their performance or the pleasure of their bed-partner as the submissive watches. Although this may seem like a difficult experience to endure, cuckolds and cuckqueans often find this added humiliation to be a turn on - but emotional masochism comes with a number of inherent risks and must be negotiated within acceptable limits.
What is a Hotwife?
The Grown-Up Version of MILF, a hotwife is widely regarded as the attractive (usually married) partner of a man, known for her lack of inhibition around sex.
A hotwife is free to have other sexual relationships, with the consent of her partner, who is not subjected to the humiliation associated with cuckoldry.
The motivation around hotwifing may be that the pair enjoy threesomes or group sex, or the partner may be aroused by the hotwife’s sexual pleasure with another partner, or motivated by her happiness. Many hotwives and their partners choose to document their activities online, either as amateur porn videos, or in written blogs.
Candaulism is a common association with hotwifing; it means enjoying exhibitionism and voyeurism, such as involved in hotwifing.
Unfortunately, the term ‘hotwife’ has increasingly come to mean a married woman having sex with other people without her husband’s knowledge or consent, but as Kynk 101 believes any kink or BDSM-related activity must involve consent, we present the definition as a consensual term.
As the term ‘hotwife’ has risen in popularity, new labels and roles have emerged.
What are Stags & Vixens?
Stags are men who enjoy their partner’s being sexually gratified by other people, and actively encourage it. Vixens are the females encouraged to seek these sexual exploits with people other than their ‘stag’.
The stag and vixen relationship can also be reciprocal, where both partners encourage the sexual exploration of their partner, and enjoy the voyeurism of watching such activities unfold. They may or may not participate, and may only take the role of voyeur to their partner’s sexual escapades.
A simpler way to refer to the two would be that vixen is like an unmarried hotwife, who is encouraged to seek sexual gratification with other people, and the stag is the vixen’s consenting and encouraging partner.
It’s important to note that stags are not submissive men in the way cuckolds are, and vixens may not be dominant females - a stag and vixen dynamic generally does not involve the humiliation associated with cuckoldry, nor does it involve a power exchange.
A note on gender: Kynk 101 acknowledges that many roles in the kink and BDSM subculture - such as the ones listed on this webpage - are inherently binary. Whilst we don’t have an immediate solution to this pervasive issue, we do recognize the importance of ensuring that all kinksters feel included and seen. It’s our hope that we’ll be able to update webpages such as this as new, non-binary roles develop within our community.
