Online Safety in Kink & BDSM

It’s tempting to rush into joining a kinky dating site or BDSM social network so you can get to the good stuff.

But taking your time with your profile is essential because it represents you. It gives others a first impression of who you are, why you’re there, and what you hope (if anything) to get out of it.

Kink sites provide an excellent opportunity to connect, learn, and interact with others in the lifestyle, But it’s essential to think about your safety.

General Safety On Kink & BDSM Sites

Do think about your privacy before signing up to a site

Consider setting up a separate email address just for your kink profiles. Don’t use your real name for your username, and don’t use the names of family members and pets. Don’t share other ways for people to contact you off the site, unless you have other accounts setup for that.

Hold off on giving access for others to reach you off the site until you’re 100% sure you want them to contact you.

Your openness to accepting friend requests and followers depends on your comfort level. You may find that having a smaller friends list means you get to know your friends better and find the interactions more meaningful.

Don’t give out personal information online

Never include contact information like phone numbers, your home address, or your email address on your profile - remember your profile can be viewed publicly by other members! Be mindful when you start talking to other people and consider whether you want to share your real name, or maintain an alias.

Don’t share your occupation, especially if you’re in public service or if you have an account on LinkedIn - people can search by work and location easily.

Don’t cross-post pictures from your vanilla socials

Thinking about using an image from your Facebook gallery on a kink site? Depending on privacy settings, someone could do a reverse image search and find you in under 5 minutes if you’ve cross-posted public pictures from other social media. Ensure that the photos and videos you send don’t have location tags enabled.

You can, however, often use privacy settings for the pictures and writings you post by selecting a “just friends” or “private” option if you’re not sure you want just anybody to see them.

Be mindful of the potential ramifications and the legal, social, familial, professional, and religious impact of practicing BDSM. A lot of people are not able to be honest about their kinks openly. 

Using Photos On BDSM Social Media 

What goes on the internet, stays on the internet

Think twice about the pictures or video you might send to someone. Once those images are out of your hands, they are out of your hands for good.

Be wary of people with no images on their profile

Have a look at people’s profiles before you engage with them. Are they only posting memes or pictures of porn from the internet? Is that them in their images? Reverse image searches come in handy, especially if they’re a stranger, or you feel uncertain about them.

Use caution with profiles that have zero pictures of the individual. While the need for privacy exists, especially if you have a high-profile job, many camera angles would keep their identity safe.

If they’re not showing something, what are they hiding?

Watermark your images before uploading

In the world we live in, screenshots are easy to take. Be mindful of the pictures you share, as others can quickly take them from the site. To help prevent this, quite a few women and photographers now use “watermarks” on the photos, so they’re not easily stolen.

Other Considerations for Kink Sites & Social Media

Not everyone has good intentions

Check out someone’s activity feeds before you add them as a friend or consider them for other things. How they interact with others regularly says a lot about how they’ll interact with you. Think about your safety - even those who are just looking for “friendship” may have not have such pure intentions.

Kink sites can provide fantasy and escape. Not everyone wants real-life experiences. Be mindful however, that not everyone is upfront about that.

If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. Consider the motivations behind others’ actions, including your own.

Show respect for others online

Work on building a solid and trustworthy support system on the site and in your community. Respect the relationships and dynamics of others and their contact preferences; they’ll usually state in their profile whether it’s okay to contact them directly or refer to their protector, Dom/Owner, etc.

If the site offers a block button - use it. You don’t owe anyone anything. 

Other than that, be kind, be safe, and have fun!