Red Flags in BDSM

Whether you’re a Dominant or a submissive, knowing the red flags and green flags for kinky play partners is a key factor in mitigating risk.

It’s easy to forget that power dynamics are relationships, first and foremost. What do we mean by that? Well, relationships are between human beings, and as such, they all have their share of toxic partners: gaslighters, narcissists, abusers, you name it. 

Sadly, kinksters can never fully escape the real world— or its toxicity— unless we’re fast asleep in kinky dreamland. For that reason, it’s very important to recognize the “red flags” (as well as the “green” ones) when it comes to kink.

Many red flags in the vanilla world apply just as much to the kink one. But some of those flags are specific to kink and BDSM. 

While there are a number of toxic and dangerous people on both sides of the slash in BDSM, there are many good kinksters that enjoy healthy BDSM dynamics. Remember, if anyone tries to tell you what a “real” or “true” submissive or Dominant is or does - there is no such thing.

As always, just remember: consent and safety are at the forefront of all things kinky.