The Truth About Accidents and Injuries in Kink & BDSM
Accidents and injuries are a likely by-product of BDSM activities, where things like impact, bondage, discipline, and physical and emotionally sadomasochistic play are commonplace.
Kink and BDSM aren’t safe by nature - but they can be made safer. Adequate risk mitigation can limit the occurrence of injuries, and learning more about an activity from trusted peers with relevant experience can also help you to be aware of the kinds of things that can go wrong in the lifestyle.
The law of averages means that the more you play, the more likely you are to get hurt. But how likely are you to get hurt, and who’s most at risk?
How Common Are Accidents And Injuries In Kink & BDSM?
Almost half of kinksters have experienced an accident during BDSM
For context, 11% of respondents that attend scenes have witnessed an accident happening to someone else - but almost half of kinksters have experienced accidents and injuries in their own scenes - that’s 43%. Of course, the longer you’re in the lifestyle, the more likely you are to experience these kinds of incidents.
Breaking the results down by grouping, it becomes clear that the trend gets higher the longer you’ve been on the scene. Newcomers (under a year in the lifestyle) and beginners (based on their level of experience) are at particularly high risk, accounting for 34% and 61% of accidents respectively.
While the number of accidents happening may not be as high as you expect, it’s worth remembering that this number of accidents reported only represents the kinksters who took this survey, and not the lifestyle as a whole. The frequency of accidents occuring in kink and BDSM worldwide is relatively low, but it’s interesting to note how soon after joining the scene a kinkster is likely to experience an incident.
1 in 4 newcomers experience an accident or injury in their first year of kink & BDSM
Responses that highlighted the experience of an accident were interesting to break down by the duration of time in the scene before an accident occurred.
More than a quarter (27%) of kinksters experience their first accident in the first year of being an active member of the kink lifestyle. Whether this is a lack of experience, or proof of the frenzy newcomers can experience is difficult to quantify, but delving into why these accidents and injuries happen reveals some interesting reasoning.
A third of BDSM beginners will have an accident or injury
Part of the reason we wanted to do this survey was to highlight the dangers kinksters might face, and given that many visitors to our site consider themselves newcomers, it’s definitely worth us repeating that one third of beginners experience accidents or injuries during their BDSM activities.
It’s probably not that surprising, but ‘beginners’ account for nearly half of the kinksters out there, and sharing knowledge and experiences about the good, the bad, and the downright ugly is important.
How Bad Are The Accidents And Injuries In Kink & BDSM?
Most injuries in kink & BDSM are considered mild or moderate
When asked about the injuries witnessed and/or sustained during kink & BDSM, more than half were considered to be ‘mild’, which included minor cuts and scrapes, short-term inconspicuous bruising, and such. ‘Moderate’ injuries, such as visible bruising, swelling, or minor fractures accounted for almost a third.
Thankfully, only 15% were considered ‘Severe’ (e.g. mild scarring, broken bones) or ‘Life-altering’ (e.g. permanent disfigurement, dismemberment, death). However, when you flip that statistic, it means a kinkster only has an 85% chance of not experiencing an injury like a broken bone or worse.
Again, it’s worth noting that this statistic is based only on the responses to the survey, and not worldwide. Whilst minor injuries might seem like part and parcel of the kink and BDSM lifestyle, it’s worth remembering that all of these injuries were unexpected. This means that as much as you might like some S&M, there’s still a high likelihood one of your scenes could lead to more harm than hurt.
Broken bones, nerve-damage, and loss of consciousness are among the most severe injuries
From tales of testicular trauma to bottoms passing out, the myriad of possible accidents and injuries cover all kinds of incidents.
Some are notably less severe, with things like impact play strikes being misplaced or too hard, but some accounts are a difficult read.
The lasting damage sustained by some kinksters affects their ability to work, and others are left with lasting marks against their consent that take weeks or even months to fade.
Accidental bloodletting is a common unexpected byproduct of kink & BDSM, as are cases of bottoms blacking out during a scene. By far the most frequent reports are of unexpectedly triggering a play partner, followed closely by newcomers not realising they can say no.
Although less common than expected, accounting for just 4% of incidents in this survey, it’s critical to note that rape happens in kink and BDSM. This is not something to overlook lightly. Think about it - Four percent of negative kink & BDSM experiences in one survey involved actual rape. That’s 4% more than it should ever be. Add that to the 1 in 5 safewords being ignored in the lifestyle as a whole (not just this survey) and it paints a pretty stark picture.
Partners reacting to accidents in a positive and responsible manner is common
When attributing three words to a partner’s reaction during an accident, it’s a relief to see that most kinksters we surveyed encountered a positive response - More than 52% of the time, in fact.
The most consistent responses of ‘caring’, ‘concerned’, ‘calm’, and ‘responsive’ give us hope that if kinksters do find themselves in an unexpectedly dangerous situation, their partners can be trusted to step up to the plate.
That said, some of the negative responses kinksters experience, such as anger, bruised egos, and coldness are a definite red flag when considering whether or not to play with that partner again.
Looking at the word cloud above and thinking about the common reactions to things going wrong in a scene, it goes without saying there should be more green than red flags. If that’s not the case, it could be that the play partner in question shouldn’t be a play partner for long.
What Causes Accidents And Injuries In Kink & BDSM?
Alcohol and drug use are considered the most influential factors in BDSM scene safety
Both the Top’s and the bottom’s intake of alcohol and/or drugs prior to a scene accounted for 45% of the most influential factors in BDSM scene safety. The second most important factor is communication, with a 50/50 split between communication prior to a scene and communication during a scene being problematic.
Within a kinkster’s own scenes, the participant’s patience is considered the most important factor to ensure safety, accounting for a quarter of all the highest responses. Research prior to trying a scene was second most important (17%), followed by the Top’s skill (12%).
What’s interesting is that the fourth highest factor in scene safety is first aid training (10%). This suggests that kinksters consider it important, but seemingly not important enough to keep their training up to date, since less than 1 in 5 have valid training.
In terms of the least important contributing factor to general scene safety, competitiveness and showmanship rank top. In personal scenes, kinksters consider having quick-reference notes on hand is least important, suggesting that although research is important, referring back to it isn’t.
Lack of knowledge and over-eagerness are the biggest causes of accidents
A quarter of all accidents reported in this survey are attributed to a lack of knowledge - that’s 25%. A whole quarter of all accidents could have potentially been avoided with better research and taking the time to learn before attempting an activity.
The second most common cause of accidents is over-eagerness at 20%. 1 in 5 accidents are the direct result of throwing oneself into an activity. Whether that’s a wayward strike in the heat of the moment, or buying new toys from a less than reputable source, taking a step back before rushing into kink and BDSM is crucial to safety.
We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again: Take your time.
Looking at who accidents happen to correlates with these causes. Over-eagerness accounts for the highest cause of accidents for Beginners, Amateurs, and Intermediates, being an unfortunate factor in the scenes of those who have been in the lifestyle up to seven years.
Lack of knowledge is still a factor, even for those who’ve been in the lifestyle for over ten years. In contrast, Experts fall victim to external distractions (like kids, the phone, a knock at the door, scene spectators, etc), suggesting that being comfortable with your experience level and confident in your knowledge potentially leaves only external influences to cause issues.
The top causes recorded are as follows:
Experience Level:
Beginners - Lack of knowledge (100%)
Amateurs - Over-eagerness (44%)
Intermediate - Lack of knowledge (27%) / Over-eagerness (23%)
Advanced - Lack of knowledge (32%)
Expert - Distractions (50%)
Time in Lifestyle:
Less than a year - Lack of confidence / lack of knowledge / lack of planning / over-eagerness (25%)
1 - 4yrs - Over-eagerness (31%)
5 - 7yrs - Over-eagerness / 8-10yrs Dishonesty & over-eagerness (27%)
10+yrs - Lack of knowledge (47%)
Research is key to safety in BDSM
As we’ve mentioned, more than half of kinksters consider research to be the most important contributing factor to their partners’ or their own safety. More than three quarters (77.5%) find research prior to planning a scene beneficial, and 66% attend free or paid workshops.
How do kinksters learn about kink & BDSM?
Almost three quarters of kinksters use Google or other online resources like blogs and articles. Nearly half approach their kinky peers who have experience of the activity.
Books, classes and workshops, and FetLife each account for around a fifth of research. FetLife is a great place to join groups and integrate into a local community, as well as reading personal accounts of kinky journeys. Classes and workshops provide more hands-on research, and books are a great tool to refer back to.
Interestingly, only 8% look to kink educators for their research, along with 8% looking to YouTube videos, the lowest scores. Kink educators - after vetting - can be important resources to learn about negative experiences and prevent them from happening to you, and YouTube videos from reputable sources can provide guided instruction on an activity you’d like to try.
Which Kinks Are Most Dangerous?
Impact Play is the cause of most BDSM accidents
Scenes involving Impact play are the leading cause of accidents and injuries - whether from spanking, paddling, whipping, caning, etc - accounting for 35% of all accidents witnessed (28%) or experienced (38%).
Bondage and Rope Suspensions come in second, accounting for 26% of all accidents witnessed (38%) or experienced (22%).
Rough Body Play / CBT and Emotional S&M are the third leading scene for accidents with 11% each.
The most dangerous kink is considered the least risky
When ranking the activities most likely to cause an accident, almost a quarter of kinksters consider Impact Play the least dangerous activity, alongside Hypnosis, at 23% each.
No kinksters consider Impact Play the most dangerous activity.
While Hypnosis may not have featured in any of the reported accidents, Impact Play leads the way as the cause of over a third of all injuries (35%).
In spite of this, only around 1% deem Impact Play too risky to participate in personally, even though 39% of kinksters (correctly) believe it to be one of the leading causes of injuries.
Similarly, 62% of kinksters consider Bondage / Rope Suspension to be a leading cause of injury, but only 1 in 5 kinksters say Bondage is too risky to participate in.
Conversely, the kink activities considered most dangerous; Breath Play (43%) and Gun Play (22%) only account for 8% and 1% of accidents respectively. As a result of this perceived danger, more than half of kinksters don’t participate in Breath Play because of the risk (56%), while two thirds of kinksters avoid Gun Play (66%).
This would account for how few accidents are reported in Breath Play and Gun Play, but also suggests a level of complacency regarding Impact Play and Bondage / Rope Suspension - do more accidents happen because people take for granted that it’s one of the safest forms of play?
Considering a kink activity dangerous does not stop kinksters doing it
Looking at the risks of kink & BDSM and the likelihood of an injury, it would make sense that witnessing or experiencing an accident would deter kinksters from taking part in the activity.
Yet only 1 in 4 kinksters are deterred from an activity where they’ve seen or experienced things going wrong, across all levels of experience and lengths of service in the lifestyle.
Three quarters of kinksters get right back in the saddle, either as the bottom (45%), Top (32%), or both (23%).
Who Is Most At Risk in Kink & BDSM?
Gender has no influence on experiencing an accident, but does on witnessing one
Although more than two thirds (69%) of non-cis genders attend and/or participate in events, only 15% witness an accident, compared to around 30% of cis-genders, accounting for the worldwide average gender split as of 2020.
While they may witness twice as many accidents, the split between male and female witnesses is almost 50/50 - with slightly more males witnessing accidents than females, despite both genders attending in equal numbers.
What’s interesting is that the likelihood of experiencing an accident in kink and BDSM falls pretty evenly between male cis (32%), female cis (33%), and non-cis genders (35%). Females experience an accident only a fraction more than males.
Females and s-types have their safeword ignored the most
S-types of any gender are almost ten times (40%) as likely as D-types (4%) to have their safewords ignored during a scene. Switches account for 7% of ignored safewords. Whilst only female s-types reported they don’t use safewords, females in general within the kink & BDSM lifestyle will experience their safewords being ignored twice as much (12%) as men (6%).
Accounting for the weighted average of worldwide kinksters, the likelihood of having a safeword ignored is as follows:
More than half of switches experience accidents in their scenes
While those who identify as s-types on the right side of the slash (e.g. submissives, bottoms, masochists, etc) are more than twice as likely to experience an accident as those who identify as switches, those identifying as switches report an accident in more than half of their scenes (55%), followed by D-types on the left side of the slash (e.g. Dominants, Tops, sadists, etc) in 41% of their scenes, and s-types in 38% of their scenes.
Accidents happen to s-types most frequently (51%), followed by switches (29%), and D-types (20%). Bottoms experience 64% of all accidents, whilst Tops experience 36%.
Although bottoms account for almost two thirds of all accidents during a scene, the breakdown of accidents by role in a scene differs depending on which position a switch serves for the scene. All self-identified D-types experience accidents as the Top, and all self-identified s-types experience them as the bottom, but slightly more switches report more accidents as the Top in a scene (53%) than as the bottom (47%).
In Conclusion, whilst accidents and injuries can and do happen, as long as you’re mindful of these causes, outcomes, and who is most at risk, there’s no reason that kink and BDSM can’t be fun.
Keeping yourself and your partner(s) safe is part of being a responsible kinkster, and understanding what might go wrong is the first step in mitigating those risks.