Willy Wonka & The Kink Factory
“If you want to view paradise,
Simply look around and view it.”
When you first enter the world of kink, it’s like opening Willy Wonka's Whipple-Scrumptious Fudgemallow Delight to see a golden ticket inside.
Suddenly, you’re in! Much like Charlie Bucket, you’re eager and wide-eyed as you explore the Chocolate (Kink) Factory with other kinksters, experiencing the wonders of your personal fetishes and kinks, and ultimately owning an amazing chocolate factory with a tribe of Oompa Loompas at your disposal.
Okay, maybe not that last part, but you will absolutely meet other kinksters on your journey. Most will be like Grandpa Joe - wise, veteran kinksters who are more than happy to show you the ropes and encourage you to explore and grow safely while still having one hell of a time.
So who are the ‘bad nuts’ of kink and BDSM?
Veruca Salt: The Spoiled Princess of Brats
The Veruca Salts of the kink-verse are a specific subset of submissives who have no respect for limits or boundaries, and aren’t interested in anything but getting their personal kinky needs met. If you’re not doing things the exact way that they want, then you’re not a ‘true’ kinkster. A Veruca Salt type is typically not terribly active when it comes to community events, unless they think they’ll be able to capture a beginner to use as a kink dispenser.
If you’re on the left side of the slash, the Veruca Salt will insist that you play in whatever ways they want to, regardless of whether or not it’s a hard limit for you. They’ll argue about the merits of ‘true’ Dominants and may even say they have no limits.
A Veruca Salt type can be a dangerous play partner for these reasons, and it’s better to let them stomp their feet and storm out of a play party (or out of your house) than for you to agree to anything you’re not comfortable doing.
Augustus Gloop: The Greedy Dominant
Not every Dominant who has more than one submissive is an Augustus Gloop, but many of them are. While there’s absolutely nothing wrong with a Dominant having a number of subs at their command, an Augustus Gloop will target beginners for the sole purpose of creating a ‘harem’.
Augustus Gloop types are addicted to the high that comes with the D-type role and they are constantly chasing it through their acquisition of subs.
They may have a vast knowledge of kink and BDSM, which can subsequently make them all the more difficult to identify. But before long, an Augustus Gloop will find themselves with so many submissives that they aren’t able to logistically meet the needs of every sub that they ‘own’. Their submissives will begin to feel neglected and the dynamics will begin to falter. This can increase tension and if enough pressure builds up... everything will explode.
Augustus Gloop types don’t like to be denied what they desire, so if a submissive starts questioning them or asking for more attention, they’re quick to cut ties and move on to the next. This is why getting to know your partner is critical to an enjoyable D/s relationship.
Violet Beauregard: The Competitive Kinkster
A Violet Beauregard of kink wants to be the Ruler of all Kinksters. Their way is the best way and they’re insistent that no one does this kink thing with nearly as much sincerity as they do. They purposely seek out increasingly edgier forms of play, posting the photos on social media and sharing with other kinksters in an effort to validate themselves and their behaviour.
The Violet Beauregard of kink has poor respect for boundaries, and negotiation seems like a bore to them.
Violet Beauregards can sometimes paint themselves as ‘simply knowing’ what their play partner wants, believing that use of safewords means their partner doesn’t trust them. At play parties or public dungeons, they have no problem interrupting a scene to tell the players how to do things better, and at the very least will offer unsolicited advice while a scene they aren’t involved in takes place.
These types of kinksters can be difficult to spot, as they oftentimes will surround themselves with trustworthy kinksters. The real truth however is that a Violet Beauregard’s ego is so bloated they often neglect their own personal safety- and that of their play partners- in their insatiable desire to be the best. Getting to know your partner can help you determine their risk profile and motivations for play.
Mike Teavee: The Unhinged Sadist
While we’d love to tell you that all sadists are kind and caring individuals, the fact remains that there are a few like Mike Teavee - their focus is on the infliction of hurt (sometimes to the level of harm) and they have very little interest in what you want out of a scene.
The Mike Teavee type will often be quite open about their desire to inflict pain on a partner and while they emphasize consent at the beginning, they are a routine violator in actual practice.
Mike Teavee types lack self-control and can ‘lose themselves’ in a scene, getting so carried away that they ignore safewords or requested aftercare. They’ll fall back on a kink-shaming argument if other kinksters question their practices, and are incredibly defensive in their stance around S&M play.
In actuality, the Mike Teavee of kink is simply overcompensating for some hidden insecurity that makes them feel small. As such, they seek out play partners who have low self-esteem or are easily influenced by another person’s feelings or actions.
Mike Teavees are incredibly dangerous play partners, but a firm stance on negotiations and boundaries will likely ensure you don’t end up in their front pocket.
Charlie Bucket and Grandpa Joe Make Mistakes, Too
Let’s not forget that Charlie and Grandpa Joe do end up in a dangerous situation when their curiosity and eagerness to explore gets the best of them. Before they know it, they’re floating towards their doom in the Fizzy Lifting Drinks laboratory. Even after being warned by Willy Wonka about the risks inherent in drinking this beverage, Charlie and Joe still choose to indulge.
The decision made by Charlie and Joe serves as a good reminder that even the most risk-aware and ethical of kinksters can make a bad decision.
What does this mean for the Chocolate Factory of kink? Mostly, it means that you’re going to make some mistakes as you learn and grow as a kinkster.
But if you truly want to explore within the kink world, you’re going to need to examine your personal intentions, know your limits, and be willing to learn. Outside of that?
The only limit is your imagination.
About the Author: SubtleShadow is a queer, poly, sadomasochist and playful submissive with an insatiable curiosity about the world and a desire to explore all of it.
