How Safe Is Kink?
Kink and BDSM activities are never completely free from risk; what makes them safer practices is being aware of what can go wrong and taking steps to mitigate those risks.
We found out in our Accidents & Injuries in BDSM Survey that things go wrong. While we've added some guides on how to mitigate the risks of various kinky activities, the key to good risk mitigation is to first understand what the risks are.
What kind of injuries can you sustain in kink & BDSM?
BDSM Bondage Risks
Bondage is a key component of BDSM, and with the different styles (decorative, restraint, predicament, etc) it's easy to forget the associated risks. Even light bondage can have its risks:
Rope constriction
Chest harnesses especially can prove dangerous because bindings will flex as the rope bottom moves. This can lead to constriction and compression, which may lead to blackouts, breathing difficulties, and even musculoskeletal injury.
Strangulation in bondage
Rope anywhere around the neck is a high risk activity. Damage to the windpipe and vocal chords can occur, along with blackouts, asphyxia, and even brain damage.
Circulatory issues caused by bondage
Bondage can restrict the flow of blood to the arms or legs, leading to nerve damage, muscle destruction, and eventually blood clots. This is especially a consideration for breast bondage.
Bondage release methods
This may seem like a given, but being able to quickly and safely release a person from bondage in an emergency is a must. Be mindful that numbness may inhibit movement.
In summary, rope and bondage can and should be considered a form of Edge Play, but done with due care and attention, it can be a safely sensual activity.
Risks of BDSM Impact Play Toys
Impact play is often considered an introduction to BDSM, though it's not for everyone. As with almost every kinky activity, there are risks to be mindful of before you start florentining a flogger or paddling a posterior.
Miscalculating a hit can cause serious injury
Whether it's hitting an old injury or a harder strike than intended, miscalculating a strike can cause severe and sustained pain - and that's not always a good thing. If a serious injury is likely, put extra care into planning the scene.
Permanent physical impairment can and does happen in BDSM
Impact play can lead to soreness that lasts quite some time. There are parts of the body where this may not be too much of an issue (like not being able to sit down after a spanking), but high-risk areas like the backs of the knees, the spine, and the arms, can cause potentially permanent damage.
The trauma and emotional distress of kink & BDSM is real
As mentioned, impact isn't for everyone, and it’s always worth keeping the chance of triggering someone (or being triggered yourself) in the back of your mind as a potential side effect. Such triggers can be associated with childhood abuse, domestic violence, assault, or any number of reasons. It doesn't mean you have to say no to even trying impact, but you should be aware of this risk.
Don’t push the human body too hard
Impact takes its toll on the bottom quickly, and sometimes unexpectedly so. Different tools can affect the experience, as well as hormones, personal or work stress, or even the diet and nutrition. As such, communication is key throughout. As a bottom, don't push yourself beyond comfort, and as a Top, don't push your partner beyond their means.
In summary, impact play is very common, and very easy to get right. As long as you go slowly and communicate throughout, there's fun to be had on both sides of the slash.
Mental BDSM Side Effects
Mental BDSM is a wild and wonderful world to explore, but the side-effects of such deep emotional engagement can't be understated.
Mental BDSM & conditioning
One of the most common forms of mental BDSM is orgasm control on command, but what’s trained into the brain must also be trained out. It takes 28 days to re-educate the mind, so if a dynamic ends, that conditioning will take time to overcome. If you're going to explore mental BDSM, conditioning is a long-term effect to keep in mind.
Emotional distress in mental BDSM
Playing with the mind can lead to unexpected triggers when past experiences come back to the surface. Humiliation, degradation, mindfucks, etc, can be risky areas to play in, and a commitment to reassuring the bottom and providing adequate aftercare is a must. Physical wounds will likely heal, but emotional scars can take much longer to repair.
Real life BDSM & distorted reality (Mindfucks)
A big risk of mindfucks is a warped perception, and that can be a very long-lasting effect. There is no real way to safeguard against it, but consistency and clear communication will help limit unexpected side-effects.
Mental BDSM is a highly dangerous space to play, because you can't easily see the damage that may be caused. It's not an activity to jump into, and the unseen effects really do need to be considered carefully. But if you approach with due caution, mental BDSM can be a truly connective experience.
BDSM & Blood Play:
Blood play may seem like the most dangerous kink, but it doesn't have to be. That said, blood play does have some of the most blatant and severe risks.
Blood infections and the risk of sepsis
Poor hygiene standards during blood play can quickly lead to nasty side effects like sepsis and cellulitis (an infection of the deep layers of the skin).
Transmitting diseases through blood
Blood-borne diseases can be transmitted through cross-contamination during any activity that breaks the skin.
Critical injury and blood loss
Sharps, like knives and scalpels, can be far sharper than expected, and a little nick can become a larger wound very easily. While certain areas of the body will bleed heavily with little risk, playing too close to somewhere with high blood flow could result in a critical injury.
Permanent scarring, keloid, and hypergranulation
Breaking the skin means the skin will need to heal, and it may not always heal as expected. Deeper wounds can form keloid scarring (where the skin is raised and may discolour), as well as hypergranulation (where cell overgrowth inhibits normal healing).
Trauma and shock in BDSM
A very common side effect of blood loss and/or skin trauma is shock, which may manifest as vasovagal syncope (fainting at the sight of blood), cold/hot flushes, or neurogenic tremors (where the central nervous system tries to release trauma from the Limbic system - the part that controls emotions).
In summary, blood play is not safe. The risk severity is high, and the risk likelihood is not something to be shrugged off. You can take steps to mitigate the risks, but blood play will never be completely safe.
Sexual BDSM & Kink
Let's make one thing very clear - kink & BDSM are not always about sex.
If you do decide to incorporate sex into your kinky play, the same risks apply as any sexual encounter.
Even kink has STIs & STDs
Protecting yourself and others is no less important during kinky sex than vanilla sex. Common infections and diseases like chlamydia, herpes, gonorrhea, HPV, HIV, and AlDS (to name a few!) are still contractible whether you've tied someone up or stuck ginger up their anus beforehand. Kink is not immune to STIs and STDs, and neither are you or your partners. No kinky experience is worth your sexual health.
Kinky sex doesn’t prevent pregnancy
Yes, it happens. Even during kinky sexy times. Just like diseases and infections, pregnancy doesn't turn a blind eye just because you're doing something deviant. Whilst condoms aren't guaranteed to safeguard, they are as effective against the same risks as during vanilla sex.
Emotional effects of kinky sex
One of the less considered, but no less important, side effects of incorporating sex into kink is the emotional impact. Kinksters are still human, and as humans we feel. Those feelings may not be reciprocated beyond the sexual activity. Kink & BDSM can be very deeply connective on an emotional level, leading to unexpected cases of the feels. That's not a bad thing per se, but it can be devastating if the partner feels misled, used, or humiliated without consent.
Sex, cheating, and collateral damage
It's easy to forget sometimes that as humans, we can be selfish in our pursuit of pleasure. Even in open, non-monogamous, or poly relationships, sex with someone else can be considered cheating. Your monogamous partner may give their blessing for platonic play, but the heat of the moment can get the better of us, with potentially dire consequences.
In summary, sex can heighten the experience of kink and BDSM, and safety can be very easily managed, but consent from any potentially affected party is an absolute requirement - even the most seemingly simple activity can have its side-effects.
General Safety in Kink & BDSM
Kink and BDSM are still grey areas when it comes to the law, so whilst you may put all the considerations into place to make your play as safe as possible, trust can be misplaced sometimes.
Your identity will always be at risk if you choose to pursue kinky endeavours. As such, your privacy will always be at risk, too - what's important to consider is how much you can risk that.
Consent and trust are so vital within kink because of all the risks mentioned here, and whilst most can be mitigated, the question "how safe is kink?" doesn't have a simple answer.
How well do you know the person you're about to let hit you?
How much do you trust the spaced-out submissive begging you to go further than you negotiated?
If things go wrong, and we mean really wrong, would you be able to file a police report, or undergo police questioning if someone reported you?
Could you take your play partner to hospital and explain to the doctors exactly what happened?
If not, the question is no longer "how safe is kink?"
It's are you safe enough to be doing it?
