Outside the Slash
Whilst you may not like to label yourself, being able to present your potential partners with an idea of who you are in some way enables them to interact with you.
Not all kinks are the same. Neither are all kinksters.
Along with the plethora of play styles and activities, there are also a myriad of roles that may not always fit as neatly into the kink labelled boxes as some would like.
That's why discovering your kink identity is so much fun, but also important. So who are these rebels of kink, and what does it mean to be one?
What is a Switch?
A switch is someone who occupies both sides of the slash, either with the same partner, or with different partners.
Perhaps the easiest kink role to define is a switch. Simply put, a switch may be a Dom/sub switch, and their dynamic may be with a fellow switch, or they may be Dominant over one partner and submissive to another.
They may also be Top and bottom to partners. Sadomasochists are common examples of T/b switches (albeit not exclusively switches by nature), because they enjoy both bearing and receiving pain-related activities. It's worth noting that a T/b switch may choose to switch with certain activities only - They may be a needle Top but only an impact play bottom, for example.
What is a Primal?
Primal Play strips away the polished veneer of being civilised, and puts us more in touch with our carnal desires.
Some Primal Play may be very animalistic, filled with grunting and biting and other such base responses. Other times, Primal Play can be more of a mental act, comparable to the way animals will devise a strategy to ensnare their prey, or evade capture.
Some Primals are sub-categorised as either Predator or Prey, meaning they are the 'hunter' or the 'hunted'. Primals may well tear chunks out of each other during play - all in the pursuit of pleasure - whilst others may simply enjoy goading and baiting their partner to bring out their less human side.
What is DDlg and Caregiving?
Whilst some Caregiver dynamics may have an element of incestuous roleplay, most dynamics are purely a D/s relationship, where the D-type takes on a more nurturing, caring, and/or guiding role.
Many abuses of the Daddy dynamic use DDlg as a subversive way to act on an incestuous or pedophilic predilection. Whilst the majority of caregiver dynamics are between consenting adults, DDlg (Daddy Dom/little girl - or boy, boi, one, etc depending on your preference) continues to be one of the most shamed kinks, both in the vanilla world, and even in kink community.
A Caregiver may be a discipline-fuelled authoritarian, or a sensual being with a preference for softly-spoken terms of endearment, but they are still the D-type. Of course, Caregivers can be male (Daddy, Sir, Owner), female (Mommy, femme Daddy, Mistress, Owner), and non-binary, trans, and genderqueer identities can and do establish these kinds of dynamics, often using the acronym CGl (Caregiver, little).
What is Hedonism?
Hedonists focus on pleasure-seeking, which suggests an aversion to pain (as the opposite experience).
The pleasure a hedonist seeks can come from any kind of experience, and they actively avoid any unpleasant side effects.
A hedonistic kinkster is generally outspoken and proactive in their pursuits, and will often take control of the experience to ensure their enjoyment.
What is Sensualism?
Often, sensualists focus on the entire experience mentally, as well as physically, with many saying the brain is their most active sexual organ.
As the name suggests, these rebels have a propensity for giving and receiving sensual pleasures, with a strong focus on all five senses. They may enjoy long massages, or reading aloud to a partner, or cooking a delicious meal.
What is a Doll?
Classically, a doll is someone who enjoys being objectified, and will tend to exaggerate their makeup and or dress to amplify their appearance.
They don't tend to fall into a role, although if they do, it tends to be an Owner/property dynamic, without the stringent rules that apply in D/s, M/s, and the like.
In summary, there are so many "outsider" roles within kink that this list will grow over time, but for now, we hope it provides some distinction.
Did you know? This page is also a component of Kynk at a Glance, our handbook for beginners to kink and BDSM.
