Kink & Pregnancy
Practising kink during pregnancy can increase the risks significantly. Couples may need to adapt their activities to ensure safety and comfort.
Although pregnancy-related fetishes exist - such as breeding, lactation, or maiesiophilia and maieusophoria (the fetish for pregnant women) - kink doesn’t have to stop just because you’re expecting a baby.
Some common side effects of pregnancy can affect how partners can engage in play, however, such as:
Nausea and vomiting
Fatigue or low energy
Vaginal discharge or dryness
Decreased mobility or flexibility
Incontinence, constipation, or haemorrhoids
Hormonal changes
Just like outside of kink, it’s important to keep up with regular prenatal appointments if you're kinky. Monitoring the pregnancy ensures any potential complications are identified and managed. Although it may feel embarrassing, a doctor can advise on any risky activities for the pregnant partner or the baby, and bruising or other marks won’t be easily mistaken for pregnancy issues.
Pregnancy can be an opportunity for partners to explore sensual forms of play, such as verbal domination or light restraints. Activities involving physical strain, impact, or potential harm to the abdomen should be avoided, and keep in mind that pain tolerances could change, so it’s wise not to rush into your usual level of play. Warm up more - there will always be time for harder play, but mid-term pregnancy may not be that time.
Constrictive activities like bondage or breath play will also need much more consideration to prevent oxygen shortages or nerve impingement. Heavy impact, intense restraints, and anything that could result in falls should be off-limits, but a more considered approach to risk mitigation and gentle alternatives can reduce the risk without needing to avoid BDSM altogether.
Pregnancy can cause significant changes to health, such as issues with hair, skin, teeth, and even the immune system. Taking regular breaks becomes even more important, as do considerations for what you’re doing and how. Activities that pose risks for bacterial infections or other pathogens will be much riskier. Skin changes could cause unexpected allergies or reactions. Not only are infections a concern, but vitamin deficiencies and waning energy levels could also occur.
Openly discuss any concerns, adaptations to methods of safewording, additional limits, and new boundaries - for both partners. Just because your partner is carrying the baby doesn’t mean you won’t experience emotional or mental discomfort about a particular activity, too! As the pregnancy term continues, it's important to regularly revisit these conversations. Make a habit of checking in with each other before, during, and after play to ensure that everyone feels safe, comfortable, and heard.
Pregnancy can be exhausting, so ensure that energy levels are adequate before engaging in a scene, and if supplements are recommended as part of the pregnancy, be sure to keep up with them.
Every human body has its own way of adapting to the change of pregnancy, and no 'one-size-fits-all’ approach will cover everything. Use your best judgement and use the resources available to you for additional support if you need it. Whether it’s emotional support for hormone changes, risk advice from kinksters who’ve experienced pregnancy, or even partner support for those whose partners are expecting, reaching out to peers is nothing to be ashamed of.
