Space: The Final Frontier
Have you ever wondered what’s really going on in your head when you’re engaging in kink or BDSM activities?
Many kinksters report going into a specific ‘headspace’ when they engage in the activities they love so much. But what are they?
The sensations and neurological components of these headspaces are different for both sides of the slash.
Subspace (aka Bottomspace)
More commonly referred to by the term “subspace”, this state of mind is specific to those on the right side of the slash and is reported to occur at the peak of kinky activity.
What subspace feels like:
Bottoms report a variety of emotions and feelings in this headspace, but the most common descriptions include a euphoric sense of floating - similar to a drug-induced ‘high’ - or a serene, peaceful feeling.
What’s going on during subspace:
Hormones. Lots of them. When you engage in BDSM activities, there’s a lot going on in your brain. Even consensual rough sex can trigger your fight-or-flight response which pumps stress hormones (epinephrine and cortisol) into your body. If impact play or pain is part of the equation, even more hormones will join in, with endorphins and enkephalins increasing your pain tolerance. This in turn causes your brain to make you feel relaxed and calm as your parasympathetic nervous system takes charge. All this is to say bottom space feels very, very good.
Safety Considerations for Subspace:
If you’re drunk on your own hormones, you’re putting yourself in a very vulnerable position. It’s absolutely critical that you not only trust your partner to not take advantage of you during this intimate moment, but that you also negotiated everything in advance. Likewise, everything that goes up, must come down. Subspace can quickly turn into subdrop if you’re not careful, and an attentive partner can ensure that you come back to reality in a safe and positive way.
Domspace (aka Topspace)
More commonly referred to by the term “Domspace”, this state of mind is specific to those on the left side of the slash.
What Domspace feels like:
Tops report feelings of clear-headedness, calmness, intense concentration, or a euphoric “high”. Unlike bottoms, Tops typically don’t feel any sort of out of body experience, and that’s probably a good thing.
What’s going on during Domspace:
Unfortunately, very little is known about what the brain is doing when someone is engaged in play as a D-type. More than likely, however, those on the left side of the slash will have endorphins pumping through their body that promote a sense of relaxation. If sex is involved, nor-adrenaline (a neurotrasmitter) is released that decreases both pain and sensitivity.
Safety Considerations for Domspace:
Topspace is arguably addictive. The ‘power trip’ that comes with the position of receiving power in a power exchange can be a thrilling and empowering experience. Be mindful of what your motivations are for play before engaging in a negotiation. Drop can also happen to those on the left side of the slash, and you’re encouraged to communicate any aftercare needs to your partner in order to mitigate that risk.
