Handling Drop
"Drop" is a physiological response to the drop of endorphins in the body after a play session.
The intensity of the scene, whether the type of play was new to you, and the aftercare you received can all play a factor on whether you drop. The feeling can be unpredictable and catch you off guard if you’re unprepared.
Drop is mistakenly thought to only happen to submissive types, but it can and does happen to kinksters in any role.
Symptoms of drop might include:
Fatigue
Body aches
Pain
Feeling cold
recovering from marks
Sadness
Anxiety
Disorientation
Endorphins and other hormones like adrenaline and oxytocin are increased and released during play, and it takes time to re-balance the hormones in your system - it’s similar to withdrawal. Symptoms can come on suddenly; they could happen immediately after a scene or even days later. Partners aren’t always available days after a scene, so you need to be able practice self care during this time. This is why it’s important to be prepared, so that you aren’t trying to pull together resources when you aren’t feeling well.
Creating an aftercare kit or a "drop box" ahead of time can help you cope with your symptoms while your body adjusts and hormones re-balance.
Below is a list of suggested items to include in your own aftercare to mitigate the risk of drop:
blanket
favourite movie
relaxing music
candles/incense
bubble bath
a t-shirt/or other item with your partner's scent
journal & pen
favourite book
colouring book
word puzzles
chocolate or a favourite snack
other items you find comforting.
Other ideas for coping and distraction:
Watch something funny
Meditate
Go outside for a walk and get fresh air
Reach out to a friend
Have a nap
Write about how you feel
Cuddle something! (your partner / pet / a stuffed animal)
Write about your experience
Masturbate to alleviate tension and restore some endorphins
Make your favourite comfort food
Take a long bath
Make a cup of tea or hot chocolate
If you’re new to kink and unsure of your aftercare needs, communicate this clearly to your new partners, and let them know during your negotiations so that they can be prepared in the event you experience drop, as well as gain an understanding of their aftercare needs.
It’s important to remember that the way you feel during a drop is temporary, it will pass, and you will feel better again.
