What Is Masochism?
Masochism is the enjoyment (sexually or otherwise) of being subjected to physical and/or emotional pain and suffering.
This pain can either be inflicted by a sadist (one who enjoys the giving of physical/emotional pain), or it can be self-inflicted, known as sadomasochism.
Recent updates in the DSM-5 declared that masochism is not a mental illness unless it's causing significant emotional stress for the individual who is drawn to it. However, self-harm (versus hurt) is still considered an illness and should be taken quite seriously. If you're unsure about whether or not your self-inflicted masochism is healthy, please consult with a kink-friendly or sex-positive medical professional.
What is Algolagnia?
Unlike masochism, algolagnia is the enjoyment of feeling the pain itself, as opposed to being subjected to pain and/or suffering.
Whilst masochism in the kink world often relates to enjoying pain, there are subtle differences such as these that help us to explore and identify with different kinks. You may encounter pain sluts, or heavy bottoms, who fall into the algolagnia subset of masochism, but you may also encounter masochists who detest feeling of pain, but suffer it willingly for the right D-type.
Am I a masochist?
Only you can answer that question. Talking with kinksters who identify as masochists or sadomasochists is a great way to gain additional insights that might help you to clarify your own interests around masochism and what types of masochism you might want to explore first (e.g., impact play, bondage, etc.)
Many kinksters have numerous roles they are drawn to, and masochists are no different. Masochists may or may not be submissives, and are paired with sadistic partners who may or may not be Dominants. Likewise, one or both partners can be switches, enjoying the giving and receiving of pain or power. In the realm of S&M, switches are also called sadomasochists.
Often in the case of a newly discovered kink or fetish, we want to jump into the deep end and try everything with as much gusto as possible. But as a newcomer to the world of hurt, you greatly increase the risk of harm (or worse) if you try to engage in too much too soon.
Considerations for Beginner Physical Masochism
The ways in which pain can be experienced physically are quite varied in the kink world. Anything from impact play to predicament bondage can be considered masochistic. Here are a few things to keep in mind as you explore:
Try a variety of implements
Impact play is a common kink, but it’s not the only means for exploring your inner masochist.
Remember that your preferences don’t define the level to which you’re a masochist any more than how hard you like to be hit or the duration of time in an impact scene that you can tolerate.
If the concept of someone hitting you doesn’t sound appealing, there are many other options including: breast and clit torture, cock and ball torture (CBT), scratching, biting, pulling hair, rough penetration during sex, pressure points, needle play, and much more.
Start slowly when exploring pain
If you're brand new to these types of activities, it’s imperative that you communicate this to your play partner. With each activity you try - from spanking to biting - your play partner should slowly ramp up the severity.
Communicate clearly when you’re approaching your threshold for pain. This will help your Top to know both your pain tolerance as well as how hard you like to play.
Understand the safety risks of masochism
As with the vast majority of kinks, impact play is not an inherently safe activity.
Part of being a responsible kinkster is taking time to research and understand the risks associated with a given activity. Our risk mitigation guides should help to cover the basics of activities you might be interested in.
Remember that masochism is not a competition
Kinksters - especially bottoms - can often compare themselves to one another. The endurance of one person when compared to another may vary greatly. Whilst this may lead you to think you don't quite fit in, everyone's pain tolerances are different and some people are quite kinky without liking pain at all!
This is your journey and no one else's. One of the most dangerous things you can do is to try to push through a scene in order to make your Top happy.
Listen to your body and understand its limits. Anyone who tells you otherwise is an unsafe play partner.
Considerations for Beginner Emotional Masochism
Emotional masochism can be an activity enjoyed with a partner, or self-inflicted, just like physical pain. The key difference between physical and emotional masochism is the absence of visible marks left afterward - the ‘damage’ of emotional masochism can’t be seen.
As a purely mental endeavour, the risks of emotional masochism can be equally if not more severe than that of impact play and other less psychological kink activities.
Emotional masochism can lead to significant mood changes, low self-esteem, and even depression - it’s not an activity to enter into lightly, and you must be sure you can trust a play partner to aid your aftercare if needed.
Emotional masochistic activities can range from gentle humiliation and degradation, such as a partner softly admonishing you for being so wet or so desperate to cum, right through to heavy degradation play and mindfucks.
A mindfuck involving emotional sadism and masochism can have a lasting effect and shift your perception of reality - be sure that you know and trust the partner you’re seeking this play with.
If you’d like to test the waters of emotional S&M, check out this risk mitigation guide, and be sure to test different things slowly so that you can be sure to undo any potential psychological damage.
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