A Guide to Spanking

Spanking is one of the most popular fetishes in the kink and BDSM community.

It’s so popular in fact that there are spanking-specific roles, conferences, and an entire subculture built around this kinky act.

What is a spanko?

A spanko is an individual who enjoys giving or receiving spankings. 

Depending on the side of the slash, a spanko can also be known as a Spanker (left side of the slash) or a spankee (right side of the slash).

Spankers are also referred to as Tops, Disciplinarians, and Mentors. Other names for spankees include bottom, brat, charge, ward, or mentee. As with all kink roles, those who enjoy spankings can be any number of additional roles and labels. An individual for whom spanking is their only kink is known as a Spanko Purist.

Do I have to like spankings to be kinky?

Definitely not. One of the most popular myths about being kinky - especially for the right side of the slash - is the expectation that you must enjoy spankings. Nothing could be further from the truth.

Whether or not you enjoy receiving or giving spankings is no indicator for how kinky you are. 

S-types don’t have to like getting spanked just as much as D-types don’t have to enjoy giving them.

Whilst this is indeed a popular kinky activity, it isn’t the only one. The world of kinks and fetish is as diverse as humankind itself, so don’t worry about your own authenticity as a kinkster if spanking isn’t your thing.

Top Five Spanking Positions

(Ranked by Pain Level)

There are a number of positions that can be used in spankings, and each can have a different sensation and feel. 

Many of these positions can also touch on humiliation or power exchange kinks, and the intent behind the act plays a large part in how it’s performed. 

It’s important to remember that any rankings of pain levels associated with spankings (or any other form of impact play) depend on a number of factors ranging from the implement used and the experience level of the Top to the pain tolerance of the bottom. 

The rankings below are based on biology and physics, and are an adaptation of the Arkham Scale.

#5: Laying flat on a bed

Laying stomach-down on a bed, with your legs together is one of the least painful ways to be spanked. Your muscles are able to relax completely, which makes each strike more bearable. This position also allows you to move around through kicking or wiggling which can reduce the sting of the spanking.

#4: Over-the-Knee (OTK)

OTK is a more moderate pain level, because your butt cheeks are pushed out just a little. This allows for a hand to strike more sensitive areas of the bottom, as well as flexing some muscles, which increases pain level. However, there is still ample room to wiggle (assuming your Spanker allows it, of course).

#3: Standing against an object

If the spankee is standing against an immovable object, the strikes can have significantly more force. Depending on the object used, pushing forward can stretch the cheeks and tense muscles, producing a more painful spanking.

#2: Bending over to touch toes or knees

If you’re bent over, a number of your muscles are working to keep you from not falling forward or raising up too high. It can be an uncomfortable position to hold, and is considered one of the most painful positions. The buttcheeks are spread tight which also increases pain.

#1: Diaper position

The position of a Spanker holding up the legs of a spankee (or the spanker holding their own legs up) as though changing a diaper is perhaps the most painful spanking position. Along with the potential psychological impacts of such a position, the spanker has access to the most sensitive skin between the cheeks and top of the thighs. The buttcheeks are tight and wiggling isn't really possible in this position, either. 

Safety Considerations for Spanking

Spanking is considered a form of impact play, and as such there are a number of safety considerations to keep in mind. We encourage you to review the impact play risk mitigation guide prior to engaging in this activity.

Remember: Being kinky includes having fun, and what’s a kink for you may not be for someone else. If someone isn’t into spankings, that doesn’t mean they aren’t kinky - it just means they might not be the best partner for this activity. 

As with any kinky activity, understanding the importance of consent, negotiations, limits, and safewords is crucial.