FemDom: Get on Your Knees

FemDom is an abbreviation of “female domination”, or a BDSM power dynamic in which a female partner is the D-type and a male partner is the s-type. 

Female domination is a bit of an umbrella term, as it can be used for any situation in which a female partner has the most power. Whilst many in the mainstream consider this to be a novel concept, female-led relationships are actually quite common in the kink realm.

Types of FemDom Relationships

Whilst D/s tends to have a number of core elements like power exchange, protocols, and rules - regardless of the gender of the partners - one form of D/s has become so popular in female domination that it has its own label.

FinDom, or financial domination, involves a power exchange centred around financial control.

Submissives in these FinDom dynamics often take on the role of ‘human ATM’ or ‘pay pig’. FinDom has seen increasing popularity, especially in online dynamics.

Other femdom relationships in BDSM are structured much in the same ways that all D/s relationships such as: Mistress/slave, Sadist/masochist, Hotwife/cuckold, Mommy/little boy, and Mistress/pet, just to name a few.

What’s the difference between a Dominatrix and a Domme?

When you think of the word “dominatrix,” your mind likely goes to the image of a woman in a black latex outfit with stiletto heels, bright red lipstick, and a femme fatale aura about herself. 

Whilst some dominatrices may enjoy this role, the most pervading misunderstanding in mainstream culture is that all female dominants are dominatrices. 

In reality, the world of FemDom is equally as diverse as that of male-led D/s relationships. Dominatrices have traditionally been associated with the sadistic role, primarily as a punisher, disciplinarian, or an enactor of physical/psychological pain on a consenting male partner. As we said earlier, there’s more to FemDom than what’s commonly assumed.

Unlike most other roles in the kinky realm, dominatrices can be separated into two categories: professionals and lifestyle. 

Professional dominatrices (aka ‘Pro Doms’ or ‘Pro Dommes’) are exactly that - the role is something that they use as a means for making a living; they’re sex workers who will Top a man for a fee. If they’re ethical, they’ll do so in a safe way. These transactions can involve sex, but are just as likely to involve strictly S&M activities. Lifestyle dominatrices on the other hand are found in power dynamics where the relationship has a deeper emotional connection and is not transaction-based.

Safety Considerations for FemDom

As we’ve covered elsewhere, it’s important to be mindful of any frenzy you might have when first exploring these types of dynamics. Likewise, the red and green flags for dominant partners are worth reviewing, regardless of gender identity. 

Toxicity in FemDom is just as possible as male-dominant relationships, and especially so if you branch out into FinDom. 

We’ll have an article up soon on additional considerations, but encourage you to review our articles on safety as you explore this kink.