What Is Kink?
In a nutshell, a kink is an unconventional or ‘unusual’ sexual preference or behaviour. Kink is also a catch-all term encompassing specific kinky activities, specific fetishes, and BDSM practice in general.
The more nuanced definition is that it depends on the person. Kink is as subjective as it is objective, and it’s different for everyone, whether you’re looking inward or outward. What’s kinky to you isn’t necessarily kinky to someone else.
Having a kink means finding arousal, fulfilment, excitement, or even euphoria in something the dominant culture views as unusual or taboo. This means political leanings, cultural upbringing, and religious beliefs all come together to define what a kink is - and is not - for each person. Two people sharing a specific kink will experience it in their own unique way, even if they are experiencing it together.
It’s hard to define what is or isn’t ‘kinky’, because it varies so much between different people. Some people may love a particular kink, while others may have it in their list of limits, and may even find a particular activity triggering. There are also different levels of intensity, from a light spanking to a heavy caning that draws blood, or from fuzzy handcuffs to a hanging.
Some kinks you’ll commonly encounter are:
Impact Play
Voyeurism or Exhibitionism
Role-play
Dominance or Submission
Bondage or Restraints
Edging
You’ll find that many common kinks don’t involve much sex. Well, kink isn’t all about sex. If this surprises you, don’t worry, lots of people feel that way. Some kinks do involve a sexual component, but some don’t involve sex at all. A person might find physical or emotional fulfilment or arousal through simply acting on or even being exposed to a kink.
Technically, any preference outside the norm can be considered a ‘kink’ by definition, but ethical kink revolves around consent. Even then, ethics and morality are just as subjective as a list of kinks, which doesn’t make it any easier to define!
Where kinks come from
People often ask if kinks are hereditary, or if they’re something we learn - such as from films or books. While someone may be exposed to kink by the media, it’s difficult to say whether this makes someone kinky.
Kink is a psychological response to a given stimulus, and very little research has been conducted to explain why. It’s an ongoing research topic between upbringing and kinky likes and dislikes, as well as whether it's adult life experience shapes such preferences - even we're doing research into the topic at Kynk 101! Whether it’s true that we’re born this way or it’s simply something learned, kink is a mysterious rabbit hole to tumble down, and there’s nothing more adventurous than discovering what thrills you.
Identifying as Kinky
Being able to practice your kinks publicly or without fear is a privilege. For those in less tolerant countries, acting on a kink can mean facing criminal charges or even being handed a death sentence. In an ever-evolving world, kink advocacy groups and sexual freedom campaigners are working tirelessly to make kink more acceptable.
Identifying as kinky can give you the freedom to take ownership of a strong sense of self-identity. Each person’s journey into kink is personal, and making a blanket statement about what it means to be kinky is difficult.
Misconceptions and prejudice often lead to kink shaming, and even your personal baseline for ‘being kinky’ will evolve over time as you’re exposed to new things. What might be a limit for you now could even become one of your central kinks in a few years.
‘Kinkster’ is a generic identifier for anyone who has one or more kinks, and an overarching term you can use in your journey.
