What Is BDSM?
BDSM stands for Bondage & Discipline, Dominance & Submission, and Sadism & Masochism.
We have a whole host of articles in our Handbook to help you navigate through each of these pairings, but it’s important to understand how they connect and overlap with one another.
The BDSM Triskelion
Whilst most people understand there are numerous kinks outside of the main six, the BDSM emblem - known as a triskelion - is inextricably tied to kink.
Inspired by the Celtic triskele symbol, the BDSM triskelion was created in the 1990s as a visual representation of the three “legs” or “pillars” of BDSM. This concept is based on the idea that the three pairings (Bondage & Discipline, Dominance & Submission, and Sadism & Masochism) overlap with one another and create something akin to a three-legged stool.
Each leg works in concert with the others to create what was viewed at the time as the foundations of kink.
The Kynk 101 depiction of this symbol is not the “official” one. Most notably, our design has sections that are open-ended to highlight that they can ‘bleed’ into each other, and the colour used is red instead of metallic.
How do I know what I am in BDSM?
You’ve probably seen one of the many kink and BDSM tests available out there, but sometimes, no role quite seems to fit. Have no fear, dear kinkster! You’re not alone. Just as kinks and fetishes can fall outside of the slash, so too do many kink roles. You can find out more on our Rebels of Kink page or by perusing our articles on ways of being kinky and how to identify.
Do I have to like BDSM to be kinky?
No. You don’t have to be into BDSM to be kinky. That being said, these are important concepts for beginners to know, as you’re likely to run into them very often in your journey.
Although BDSM makes up a large portion of the kink subculture, and the BDSM acronym usually takes centre stage when newcomers are exploring their personal kinks, it’s not the entirety of it. Kinks such as cuckolding, pet play and primal play can all contain components of BDSM, but they can also stand independent of them.
For example, a cuckhold could be a submissive partner who engages in degradation and humiliation (a form of emotional S&M). Pet play can be done with or without a partner, and can even be a 24/7 lifestyle choice to live as an animal one feels a deep affinity with. Primal play doesn’t have to ascribe to any set of rules, but can have elements of D/s, S&M, and even bondage.
Can BDSM affect my mental state?
During the peak of kinky activity, every role in BDSM can experience a distinct headspace.
Subspace (aka bottomspace) and Domspace (aka Topspace) are important phenomena to understand. These mental states can put both sides of the slash into potentially risky situations that should be approached with attention and care. Read more about the headspaces of kink, and learn about vetting potential partners, creating your limits, the importance of consent.
Almost every new kinkster can become somewhat drunk on the excitement of exploring kink and BDSM for the first time. In kinky terms, we call this mental state frenzy.
Finding a mentor and/or reviewing key safety concepts in kink and BDSM can be a great way to help mitigate frenzy and keep you grounded as you explore.
